First of all, I got home last night and found that, hey! After having been gone for three weeks, Jack had managed to keep a plant, a tortoise, a dog, a child, and himself alive, keeping the house looking good while balancing everyone's nutritional needs, cleanliness, and the demands of a more-than-full-time job.

"Plus, I got almost all the blood stains out of the carpet!"

Secondly, everyone should go to Amazon RIGHT NOW and buy a copy of Mr. Patrick "Bad News" Hughes's new book, Diary of Indignities. My copy was waiting for me when I got back home and it looks great. I guess you could go to his Web site and read a lot of the stuff in the book for free, but that wouldn't put the several dollars in his pocket that he deserves for living through all that shit and still being sentient enough to write it down. Plus, the book has a nice heft to it, and there are glossy pictures of his dad struggling to get into a Batman costume that you can cut out and frame. I'm going to buy an extra copy and do just that!

Thirdly, I guess I've crossed over to the dark side, or whatever today's youth are calling it when you go get a gig as a Professional Blogger. The good people at Nerve are paying me to write about kids and stuff over at Babble. Of course, I put up my first post last night, road-weary and drunk on my own power sake, and then I woke up sweating in the middle of the night going, "WAIT JUST A GODDAMN MINUTE. I just wrote a post about my own kid that I should have posted on my own site but now I can't because I signed over the RIGHTS TO HIS CHILDHOOD?!" That kept me awake for about five minutes (hooray for exhaustion). But seriously, did I just make a huge mistake? Or I guess I can NOT write about Jackson over there, just, uh, general kid stuff? Fuck, I'm so tired I can't feel my face, I shouldn't be allowed to sign contracts. Oh, well. I'll get it figured out. I like earning money, after all! Who doesn't?

Anyway, I'm not sure the new blog, a.k.a. "California Breedin'", has even officially launched yet, I don't see a link for it on the Babble homepage, so maybe they're not sure about me yet, I don't know.

Fuck. I've got about 8 million loads of laundry to do. Have a nice weekend.