This post is JEN's idea. I just about killed myself writing it. This web site functions as a place for me to complain and make horrible jokes about my life, so when I have to write a post about things I enjoy it just means that I have to take out that goddamned rainbow wig again and god it itches.
FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD
1. Delivering flowers the summer I was sixteen and barely knew how to drive. I knew how to drive really well by the end of the summer. A sweaty girl with one sunburnt arm (the van had no A/C so I had to hang my arm out the window to cool off)(here's another tip: bring a frozen plastic water bottle and drink it as it melts over the course of the day) spreading cheer and wilted roses throughout the Denver metropolitan area.
2. Popcorn pusher at Tamarac Square movie theater the next summer, evening shift. My mother hated me coming home at one in the morning so she called up my boss and quit for me while I was briefly in the hospital getting my tonsils out. Furious does not adequately describe my feelings; I'm still a little bit steamed about it.
3. Copyeditor for legal reference books in New York, age twenty-three. My first cubicle. This was when you could still smoke in offices; the grey-skinned man in the one next to me had a pack-a-day Chesterfield habit. I spent the nine months that this job lasted making humorous Xerox art using the ID badge photos of my coworkers.
4. Mom 2001-present. I don't really like to talk about it.
FOUR MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. Kung Fu Hustle The part at the end? After the Buddha's hand comes down? And it makes you rethink the entire movie leading up to that point? I know this sounds stupid but it gives me chills.
2. Topsy-Turvey The part at the end? When she's singing about the moon? Chills.
3. Cabaret That first big number? When Liza's kind of humping that chair? OMG.
4. Miller's Crossing "What's the rumpus?"*
*Responsible for the first name of this web site.
THE RUNNERS UP
1. Groundhog Day Do you get it? Because it's a movie about a man who has to live one day over and over! It's a comment on this part of the meme itself, movies that you want to watch over and over!
2. Caddyshack "Pick up that candy wrapper."
3. Galaxy Quest "Hey guys, I just wanted you to know that the reactors won't take it; the ship is breaking apart and all that . . . just FYI."
4. Blazing Saddles "Now if that don't beat all. Here we take the good time and trouble to slaughter every last Indian in the West, and for what? So we can appoint a sheriff that's blacker than any Indian. I am depressed."
5. Bull Durham "Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls -- it's more democratic."
6. Raising Arizona "Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase."
FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. Littleton, Colorado Eighteen years in the suburbs. Dude.
2. New London, Connecticut College.
3. Edinburgh, Scotland The whole place smelled like burning brownies (the tasty chocolate dessert, not the little girl scouts).
4. In a dimension that closely resembles our present reality but where everything is covered in pink fun fur.
FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE
1. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy -- brilliant -- bravo, Cartoon Network.
2. The Sopranos -- New season starts NEXT MONTH.
3. The News Hour with Jim Lehrer -- The perfect lead in to . . .
4. The Daily Show -- You know, I was really bummed when Craig Kilborn left -- for about a minute.
FOUR PLACES I HAVE VACATIONED
1. Hawaii -- Nice!
2. North Dakota -- My father was a salesman and had a huge territory, most of the western states, so sometimes we'd make a family vacation out of one of his business trips. Classic sleeping-in-the-back-window-while-driving-through-the-prairie-at-night stuff.
3. Paris -- oh la la.
4. New Jersey -- my grandparents lived by the shore in the sixties; first time I was ever at the beach. Also: The Pennypacker pool in Willingboro!
FOUR OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO EAT
1. Rack of lamb with white beans
2. Jack's osso buco
3. The onion rings from Lucky's
4. THE SCONES!
FOUR SITES I VISIT DAILY Let's be honest here; I rarely visit anyone's site daily, including my own, but here are a fabulous four:
1. Styro
2. Mike Toole
3. Daddyzine